


Cooking with Shinji

by Eviscerator



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eviscerator/pseuds/Eviscerator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misato went to a grocery shop to buy supplies for dinner since the apartment is out of food. As always, Asuka will annoy Shinji with her complaint and insults and Shinji has to bear her annoying attitude. However, Shinji isn't in a good mood to hear Asuka's jabber...<br/>How is he going to react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooking with Shinji

> Another day in the Katsuragi household when something frustrating happens:
> 
> "Great... We just have 1 egg, 1 jar of milk and a empty open can of tuna..." Announces Misato with a disapointed voice after looking inside the fridge. However, she didn't expected that one of the residents of the apartment would hear her declaration...
> 
> "What?! We're out of food?!" Shouts Asuka behind Misato after listening her guardian's declaration. With Asuka's loud voice, Misato had almost jumped.
> 
> "Geez, Asuka! Don't scare me like that!"
> 
> "Come on, Misato! It's almost dinner time! That means that we have to wait for you to buy food to that wimp make our dinner!"
> 
> "Since I don't have magical powers to spawn food, I'll go to the grocery store to buy things for dinner. You and Shinji will have to wait."
> 
> After that, Asuka grunts and goes to her bedroom to slam the door in frustration. At the same time, Shinji comes out of his bedroom and see Misato getting her bag and wallet. Misato then, turns to see Shinji staring her with a puzzled look.
> 
> "Hey, Shinji-kun! I'm going to the grocery store to buy us food for dinner!" Suddenly, Shinji's facial expression changes to a scared one.
> 
> "How long you're going to take?" Misato notice the scared look on Shinji's face.
> 
> "I won't take much long, Shin-chan. Why?"
> 
> "Uhhh... Nothing..."
> 
> Then, Misato gives Shinji a smile and heads for the door. "Okay, then... I'll be right back! Behave you two!"
> 
> After Misato closed the door, Shinji could still hear her footsteps and the sound of the elevator. Shinji loudly sighs annoyed.
> 
> "Marvelous... Now I have to stay here with the princess 'till Misato comes back..."
> 
> Shinji sighs again and returns to his bedroom...
> 
> "It's your fault!"
> 
> Shinji suddenly stops after hearing Asuka's voice.
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "It's your fault that the food is over!"
> 
> "My fault? You were the one who ate all the eggs!"
> 
> "But you were the one who consumed all the milk!"
> 
> "There are three people in this house! You, me and Misato used all the milk! And there's one jar of milk left in the fridge!"
> 
> "Shut up, you idiot! You're a liar! You use all the food to put the blame on others! Just admit you ate all the food you spineless wimp!"
> 
> "You ate all the eggs and you want to put the blame all on me!" Asuka knows she ate the eggs but she still insists that it wasn't her.
> 
> "Liar! You ate it all!"
> 
> Shinji suddenly stops arguing with Asuka and starts talking inside his mind.
> 
> *I won't argue with her... It's a waste of time! Me and Misato knows that it was her...*
> 
> Shinji looks at Asuka with a null and bored look. Asuka is staring at him with a annoyed look on her face while shouting at Shinji, but he ignores her as he is talking with himself.
> 
> *Nah... Arguing with her will just give more reasons to continue her jabbering. I don't feel like talking with her now and I just want Misato to arrive ****with the food.* Shinji still stares silent at Asuka with a null look while not listening to what Asuka is saying to him.
> 
> *Look at this girl... Acting all mighty...* Suddenly Shinji frowns and starts to speak.
> 
> "You know what? I'm not in the mood to argue with you and I won't waste my time anymore." Shinji turns around and heads to his bedroom when suddenly Asuka starts talking again.
> 
> "Hey! Where are you going! I'm not done with you yet! Are you going to run away as you always do? You coward! You ate all the food and think you can pretend that you're not guilty? You shameless idiot! You think that you can go away like nothing happened?" Shinji's left eye starts to twitch while listening to Asuka complaints. But, he turns around again and starts walking to his bedroom. "Hey! I'm talking with you! Come back you idiot!" Shinji turns around with an irate look in his face.
> 
> "Why don't you just go suck a dick and leave me the **FUCK** alone!" Asuka temporarily becomes silent. Shinji turns around and walks to his bedroom when suddenly, he feels something hit his groin. Shinji falls on his knees with the pain he felt in his intimate parts.
> 
> "OW! Damn!" Shinji grunts in pain as he holds the place he had been kicked.
> 
> "Don't you ever dare to say that to me again you wimp! Don't you ever treat me like that again! Thats for you to learn to not say such things to a maiden like me!" Asuka has kicked Shinji's groin in the moment he was with his back on her. Shinji tries to recompose himself while feeling a great pain in his balls. He tries to get up and leans himself in the kitchen table. While standing up he saw a sledgehammer near his side in the table. At the same time he was in pain, Shinji was feeling rage rising up on him.
> 
> "Where did you learn to act like a douche? With that asshole you call a father? Or with that deceased bitch you call a mother?" Shinji's rage just growned more after that last commentary. No one could insult his mother! Specially that red-headed slut! Shinji's eyes wide open while he was frowning. He was irate and Asuka noticed the look in his face. "What? Are you angry because I called your mother a bitch?" Shinji's thinking was frantic with such anger he was feeling. *Shut up.* "You didn't like it? Well, she was in fact a bitch!" *Shut up.* "A idiot slut that put a wimp like you in this world!" * **SHUT UP!** *
> 
> "What you're gonna do Shinji? You're gonna beat me? Come on, bad boy!" Instantly Asuka punches Shinji right in his cheek which makes him sit on the floor. Shinji tries to stand up again with his face and groin hurting. After standing up he reaches for the sledgehammer in the table. Asuka notices this and starts walking backwards with a scared look in her face. Suddenly, all her mightiness and bitchiness faded away when she saw Shinji with a sledgehammer in his hand.
> 
> "Wha... What... What are you going to do?" Asuka quivers with fear as she observes Shinji with a sledgehammer and a psychopatic grin in his face. His eyes are wide open with his eyebrows furrowed. Shinji then, stars to chuckle... It wasn't a normal chuckle... It was a insane chuckle... A chuckle that a murderer would give to his victim... This chuckle could sent shivers down the victim's spine as it happened with Asuka. Suddenly, Asuka trips and sits on the floor while Shinji is getting slowly closer.
> 
> " **STAY AWAY!** " Shouts Asuka to the boy that some minutes ago was acting weak like always and now is acting very different from before.
> 
> "Since we don't have food on the house to make the dinner... Hehehehe... You will be the dinner!  **Hehehehehehehahahahahahahahahaha!** " Asuka stares paralyzed to Shinji until she frowns and her face turns into a defiant one.
> 
> " You wouldn't do this to me. You're bluffing! A faggot like you wouldn't have the guts to harm someone!" Shinji ignores her statement and gets more closer to Asuka.
> 
> "Come on! Hit me! You wouldn't dare to..." Asuka's line stopped right there when the slegdehammer instantly hits her head. Blood splats everywhere near the kitchen table and the fridge door. Due to the impact of the sledgehammer in her head, Asuka starts to squirm when Shinji fatally smash her forehead with one last blow. This time, the blood splats in his clothes, face and arm. Asuka's head had been painted red as blood covered her entire face from the forehead downward as her face was disfigured. Her body no longer move itself. There are no signs of life in her anymore. Shinji killed Asuka. As Shinji stares to her corpse he drops the sledgehammer.
> 
> "Now, let's make the dinner."
> 
> * * *
> 
> After getting what she needed, Misato returns to her apartment. After getting out from the elevator she arrives in front of her door. In one hand, she has the things she bought in the grocery store and in the other hand she has the key of her apartment. As she unlock the door, Misato enters her apartment.
> 
> "I'm home!" After stating loudly, Misato takes out her shoes and heads for the kitchen. As Misato arrives in the kitchen she instantly drops the bags that had what she bought in the store as a reaction of the scenario in front of her. There were plates of human limbs around the table and a tray with a stacked of intestines and organs. Misato was staring shocked at the scene.
> 
> "What the..." As Misato felt a nasty and fetid smell from the microwave, she immediatly went for it. "Why is the microwave smelling so bad?" As she opened the microwave she found something very horrendous. She found Asuka's severed head inside the microwave.
> 
> " **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!** "
> 
> Screams Misato after founding her head inside a microwave. Suddenly she felt a presence behind her. She turned around to find Shinji bathed in blood with a sledgehammer in one hand and a hatchet in another hand. Shinji's face was a psychopatic one. A wicked and maniac smile stamped in his face along with those crazed and creepy wide eyes. "Shinji... What have you done?" Asks Misato with tears and fear in her eyes. Shinji stared her for few seconds as he finally spoke.
> 
> "Dinner is ready, Misato." After this statement, Shinji slashes Misato's throat with the hatchet as a shower of blood goes to his face. Misato falls to the floor as blood continues to escape from her throat. Shinji finshes Misato squashing her head with the sledgehammer in the other hand.
> 
> " **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** " As he terminated his guradian, Shinji let out a insane and evil laughter.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>                                                                                     ** THE END** **  
> **
> 
>  
> 
>                                                     **  
> **


End file.
